Posted in General, Personal, Thoughts

REAL TALK

” No relationship is perfect,ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater.”

  • Sarah Dessen

Things got too busy with my life lately that I wasn’t able to write anything here. From being busy at work, going through some struggles, surviving to get out from a depression that rooted many months ago of losing someone and it keeps coming back, working on my issues, I LOST MY BALANCE.MY MOMENTUM. And losing grip of my relationship whom I thought it was perfect and all good.

For the past three weeks of being calm, being able to have a clear mind and perspective, I was able to validate things. I was able to see things in a larger perspective.

Looking back to my past relationships (you’ll be surprised but I only have 4 relationships in my 34 years of existence. All of them were long terms ranging from 1 1/2 years -8 years being together) and watching couples and hearing from them, I somehow validated things that will keep every relationship going or what are the foundation of a strong relationship. Or somehow, What I have learned from those relationships. Or which part I had failed as a partner.

Compromise.

There’s a complexity to compromising. With gender roles ever evolving it’s important to recognize it’s not about who wears the pants. It’s about balance. Compromise is an inherent part of a relationship. You will have to sacrifice in a relationship. That’s the nature of relationships. If you want your way all of the time, stay solo. It’s about finding a healthy balance in compromise. Both people in a relationship must understand that necessity of compromise and sacrifice in a relationship to make it work.

Communicate. It will fail if you don’t.

Everyone has flaws, notice yours and try and work on them. Everyone makes mistakes. Prince Charming probably had one beer too many on occasion. Cinderella probably spent too much on shoes.

Don’t push away true love, it’s hard to find and harder to keep. It takes work, so be careful and love fully.

She’s not always “crazy”. She’s not crazy for asking “whatcha up to”, she’s not crazy for not liking that girl that’s always hitting on you, by pushing that she’s crazy on her you’re telling her something’s wrong with her, you’re pushing her away.Instead of calling her crazy, listen to her, no, don’t just listen, hear her. Think of what she’s saying and try to do some of the things she asks.

He’s not always a cheater. Just because someone before him cheated on you doesn’t mean he will. Don’t assume that when he’s out with friends that he is with a girl, just because he doesn’t text back immediately doesn’t mean he’s cheating. By always being suspicious, by always questioning him you’re pushing him away, telling him you don’t trust him. And honesty and trust are the basis of relationships.Instead of pushing your trust issues on him, discuss how you feel, how someone broke your trust once and how it’s hard to trust now.

Do not assume. ASK!

Each of us makes assumptions in our relationships. These assumptions might originate from outside sources, like the media and our family and friends, which “have been taken out of context, misread or blown out of proportion,” said Ashley Thorn, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Salt Lake City, Utah.

If we fail to discuss our thoughts and feelings with our partners, asking enough questions or listening to them, assumptions will likely rise.We tend to decide for a thought you are having as fact when you don’t have all the information. This will lead to poor decision-making. And this will be a serious toll on any relationship. Assumptions also don’t let partners share their side. Assumptions leave people feeling undervalued and unheard.

What’s the biggest assumption I did?
It’s the fact that I thought my partner can read my mind. And when he can’t, I believe that he does not care or love me at all.

We often assume that we’ve communicated thoughts, feelings, needs, desire effectively when most of the time we really haven’t. Instead, we ONLY give hints and use blaming.

Or if we’ve communicated something directly to our partner, we assume that talking about it once is enough.We assume our partner “understood the full range of our thoughts.”

However, the best approach is to be specific and clear about what we think, feel and want.


You can’t fix your partner. They only will.

You can’t fix them. You can only help them fix themselves. You can’t resolve their work issues or wipe away all of their insecurities or get their parents back together. All you can do is be there for them and help them through it. Getting frustrated about your inability to fix your partner will agitate their struggles and strain your relationship.

Be wary in sharing things about your relationship to your friends.

To a certain extent, it is healthy to discuss your relationship with your friends, but be cautious. If you discuss every little worry, every argument, if you air every grievance, you will poison your friends against your significant other. Find a healthy way/source to vent to that won’t backfire.

Never make drastic decisions.

Making drastic decision out of spite, or when you’re hurting will end up with regrets. Let all things settle.Clear your mind with hatred, frustration, guilt, remorse. Like really, Clear your mind of negative thoughts and learn to attract positive vibes. You, having a clear mind and a calm emotion will allow you to see things in a bigger picture. See things beyond what you see when you’re all being grumpy and hateful.

In a relationship, if you don’t talk, you’ll never pass those tests life throws at you. Love is an obstacle, one of you is blindfolded and the other is guiding if you don’t talk you’ll never make it to the finish line, will you? Love is not easy, but it’s harder if you can’t talk. Love is a two-way street.

And if you done all of these and still fail, always remember that tomorrow is another day. Get hurt, contemplate, accept, get up from where you fall. If love is real, it will eventually find it’s way back home.What it’s meant to be will always find its way.Let go of people who doesn’t want to be a part of your life. Remind yourself that it’s not the end of the world, let alone it’s not the end of your life.   If not, accept it but NEVER HATE.NEVER BEG FOR LOVE.

I am no love expert for I also keep every day and in every relationship that I am with. It’s like going to remedial class every time you fail. I hope these things will help you and your partners. Wish you all the best in life as well as happiness.

 

Spread love, not hate. Positive vibes!

 

 

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Posted in Uncategorized

I Bleed Too

chatter from the pool cabin

Your words,

cutting through my soul

making my spirit bleed

tears waiting to fall.

You have

no idea of my pain,

as my chest heaves heavy,

my mind cluttered.

Did I?

Did I bring on this hate?

Without ever knowing  your past

your pain?

Never would I

no reason no personal gain,

or agenda do I have,

only the pain

of your words.

KEHN

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Posted in Uncategorized

Soliloquy

People change
They most certainly do
No matter how much you’ve promised
And it doesn’t matter how genuine it sounded
Just one foot wrong everything is just gone

People leave and they take all the promises with them.

They leave one thing for you to survive with.

Memories.

Posted in Uncategorized

SOLITUDE and HAPPINESS

“Solitude vivifies; Isolation kills”

“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth. Only those people who are capable of being alone are possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without getting addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom , because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, BECAUSE it is not given by the other.”

We are susceptible to be broken, to be hurt, to be frustrated. But as soon as you realize how important one thing from the other, that’s the time that you know you’ve grown up. Letting go of people and accepting that some things are not meant to be is not a sign of defeat but rather a sign of being strong.
See things beyond what is being painted in front of you.
Because sometimes, we are blinded by what we see.
Don’t be scared being alone and being happy.
Believe me.
It is way better than having someone in your life and you’re still lonely.
Always remember, for every dark night,
There’s always a brighter day.
Remind yourself that you became powerful not because you wasn’t scared but because you went on so strongly despite the fear.

Posted in General, Randoms, Thoughts

Echoes of the Heart

“It’s never the tears that measures the pain, sometimes it’s the smile we fake.”

Sometimes, we gotta accept the fact that some people will always stay in our hearts but not in our lives.

Whenever we fall in love, we are prone to getting hurt.
After hurting, we tend to remind ourselves to not do the same thing again.

After awhile, we seek for care, attention, affection and will try to get rid of the feeling of being alone.
Then we started to let go of the pain and the bad memories.

And then we started missing.
Missing the feeling of being in love.
Of having someone who will constantly remind us that falling in love will always be a gamble.
We know it will not always be a happy ending but we know, it will always worth the shot.

And we started Longing.
Longing for someone who is  going to fill some of the gaps in your life.
To have someone beside us no matter how shitty the situation goes.
To hustle together, be best of friends.
We long for the days when we got someone to annoy, go lazy together and to cuddle.

In the end, no matter how we keep telling ourselves not to fall in love again,

We keep on doing the same thing over and over again.

Posted in General, Personal

The Art of Loving

When we met someone who reflects the same personality like we have, we often believe that they are they right one for us.

But what if one of you still loves your  ex? What are you going to do?

It hurts. Yes, it does. But loving someone also means accepting their past. Respecting their emotions and at the same time, accepting the fact that there was someone who came before you and that someone made them who they are now.

I’ve been on the same boat for quite some time.  Being in an interracial relationship is also hard. We both grew up in a different environment and culture. As for me, we have been taught that we can only be in love with one person, fall in love with one person and that one person will fulfill all of those needs.However,  this does not diminish the fact that the ability to love is endless. And this is an eye opener for me. Maybe, some are really capable of loving a lot. Not on the same level but the same amount of respect and care.I tend to realize and understand that my partner’s love for me is most likely different than the love he had with his ex. True, with not as much history. Perhaps but nonetheless, special. Not better. Not worse.

Yesterday, after an awful argument and me going to the extreme again, I went for a walk to calm myself. To think , to analyze things and to decide.

I asked myself multiple times:

  1. Is it really okay to stay in a relationship knowing that your partner has still some feelings towards his ex?
  2. Is our relationship worth the pain?
  3. Will I stay or Should I go?

And then I came to a realization:

That love has no limits.  It is  entirely possible that my partner  has feelings for his ex and for me at the same time. Even if his previous relationship is beyond repair, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care for her, or has forgotten all the good times they had together.That he loves both of us in a different way. Each of them special for unique reasons. Just like how I  remember many of the fun times I had with my exes. That there’s still going to have a place in our hearts for the memories of those relationships because they each represent an emotional moment in our lives. And as things progress between us, hopefully, the luster of these memories will fade, and more present moments together  will take over the forefront of our  minds and hearts.

That I need to accept his past just how he accepted mine. And this includes accepting the fact that they can be friends someday.

That I need to work on my insecurities. Women are literally as complex as any Science or Math formula. We always drag ourselves to complicated situations. We often react to things like how sponges absorb water instantly.

That I should be patient.

That I shouldn’t let our past be a hindrance to our bright future together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Thoughts

Soliloquy

Settle down
Cover up
Cuddle in…
Let your heart beat be heard
Soothe her to sleep.

Cold feet under the sheets.
Morning breeze telling you;
Stay and keep warm.

Maybe it’s not too late
Not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate.

Maybe it’s not too late
To start anew
Be her sunshine
And not her rain
Be her smile
And not her my pain.

Winter is coming
Days are getting colder
Have a warm heart.

Soliloquy.

Posted in General

Pronunciation Challenge

Bumped into this poem days ago when i was searching for articles about vocabulary and pronunciation.

This was written by Gerard Nolst Trenité, written nearly 100 years ago in 1922, designed to demonstrate the irregularity of English spelling and pronunciation.

 THE CHAOS 

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

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Philippine Politics Starter Pack

“All politics is a struggle for power; the ultimate kind of power is violence.”

1. To convey a message: Curse every country or person whom you think is a threat to your country.
2. Be an ally to a country/countries who bullies you from time to time. Neglect the bullying and rather be thankful because they helped you build a rehab facility.
3. Be an ingrate towards nation/s who helped you gained your Independence from invasions because you claimed that they never helped you at all.
4. Annihilate every drug offender (common people) rather than exercising due process. Due process is only exclusive for high profile individuals.
5.Attend prayer meetings to lessen your guilt and attack your opponent personally (their sexual blah blah/private life) rather than being rational.
6. War on drugs needs to be prioritized because it is more important than poverty and lack of employment.
7. Criteria for voting a government official is based on popularity and wealth rather than competency and leadership skills.
8. Play the victim against Western countries and seek asylum from their enemies.
9. Let your family members run for other positions as a back-up plan. That is how to be a proper politician.
10. Act like a child during Senate hearings and walk out every time you feel like everyone’s trying to fry you up.